14 DAY TRIAL // 
Following the hype created around the movie "Get Rich or Die Trying" comes 50 Cent: Bulletproof, another media product featuring 50 Cent, the most controversial rapper nowadays. This time it's a game we're talking about and a "playa' " as main character. While some may give this game a lot of credit calling it an autobiography of the "half-dollar-man," I say that it's time to chill a bit and see this game for what it really is: a mountain of 50 Cent-related content on top of a lousy game. Seeing so many good reviews out there makes me wonder if they were written at gun point or have reviewers become quality-proof? Don't forget to check out the cheats section if you're the kind of gamer that gets stuck while playing Bulletproof.
Story Don't let rappers tell their story! Ever! It's an endless series of interjections, the words "hood", "boys", "gunz" and "homies". You'd expect Bulletproof's storyline to be something special considering that the script was written by Terry Winter, the man who wrote The Sopranos. If you've ever listened to any of 50 Cent's albums or singles, you surely know his story. The game starts with Fifty, called Fiddy by his friends, that goes on a mission to help his homie K-Dog. He's not alone though and he storms the place together with his crew, G Unit.
Things get pretty ugly as K-Dog gets wasted, Fiddy takes nine bullets and everyone thinks he's dead. Two days later, the famous rapper wakes up from a supposed coma and starts planning the revenge against the man who shot him from behind and killed his pal. That's where you take control of Fiddy and his minions and begin taking over the city of New York. Your purpose? Finding the man who shot you and perhaps taking 10 bullets this time. You might have caught the idea of the pun in the title of the game by now and please kids, don't try this at home. If Mister Fiddy is bulletproof it doesn't necessarily mean that you are, too.
Concept 50 Cent: Bulletproof is divided into a story mode and an arcade mode. The second is just an excuse to shoot people randomly and replay the unlocked missions from the story mode. The only difference is that you can select other characters to play with. Don't expect much of a story mode, as it features 10 chapters, that's about 35 levels of mindless shooting. There's so much content to view and listen to in this game, that the 50 Cent fans will be pleased if not suffocated by the amount of media produced by G Unit and their bulletproof guru. Watch music videos, listen to 50 Cent's tracks, instrumental songs and there's even a mixing tool in the game to toy with.
Bulletproof also features two other rap stars that will make many fans buy the game only to see them acting and shooting. Eminem appears as detective McVicar, a crooked cop with a black trench coat and Dr. Dre is Grizz, a Vietnam vet that has an obsession with firearms. Don't expect great acting from any of these guys, because they are quite predictable and act in their natural way, or the way we've seen them behaving in music videos and movies. What is exactly G Unit? It's a small army of rappers, 50 Cent's friends with names that would make any dog jealous: Lloyd Banks, Young Buck and Tony Yayo. They will provide covering fire for the famous rapper and do all sorts of actions that will influence your progress through the game. One of them can lockpick a door or hack into the security system, while the others shoot the enemies.
I mentioned before the mindless shooting you'll have to do. Well, as it turns out, it's not only that. The "puzzles" that Fiddy can solve imply pushing buttons or opening doors and that only grants your access to a new area where you can shoot everybody. Also, you can take hostages, interrogate them or use them as human shields to shoot other foes. When you're done with them, just cut their throats and find another victim. Bulletproof is a violent game (no, really?) with lots of slow motion scenes that show Fiddy finishing his enemies in brutal and gruesome ways. Those are generated by the use of counter moves that can be bought throughout the game. Don't expect much variation in the AI field, as you'll fight FBI agents, bikers or gangsters and their skills are nothing when compared to "the playa' ".
Gameplay Crime doesn't pay! Or does it? After shooting your enemies, you'll pick up their wallets and steal all their money and belongings. While a bulletproof vest looks good on the main character, stealing credit cards from FBI agents is not something you'll adore. Some might even wonder what's all this cash for, but they'll soon find out that all the "paper" is needed to buy weapons, videos and music tracks. Remember those counter kills? There are over 25 in Bulletproof and you can unlock all of them by paying the man that teaches you how to perform them. In case you had problems with pressing one single button when you're near the enemy, check out the tutorial given to you before buying counter kills.
Going through the hood and not shooting homies and cops would be impolite in 50 Cent's world. So get your gear and start firing! Meet with Grizz or good old Dr. Dre and select the weapon of your choice, ranging from the standard 9mm pistols to an M16 riffle or a rocket launcher.
Don't trouble your head with strategies or weapon improvements, because that won't happen. We're talking about 5 hours of gameplay in the story mode, after all. Controls are pretty basic: use the left analog stick to move and the right analog to control the camera view. The game has huge problems with the aiming system, as we're dealing with a very unstable crosshair that's almost impossible to focus on a specific target. You'll lose your patience and your bullets by firing a single enemy that keeps moving around and miss him because of the lousy targeting system. Speaking of which, the AI (artificial idiocy for this game) is so dumb, that there will be soldiers running against walls with their backs turned on you. Those guys aren't even worth a bullet and these wall bugs will happen all the time. The G Unit members are not in the game just for fun and they'll be firing and killing all over the place, their most important feature being that they will be invincible. However, I wished they would have been vulnerable to my bullets as they got stuck in front of my character a couple of times and I really felt the urge to test their bulletproof capacities.
Fiddy will interact with his surroundings, shooting barrels that explode or pushing dumpsters while taking cover behind them. You can load your push to hit the enemies with the dumpster and knock them out. The AI may be dumb, but the enemy's strength is more in the number, rather than in the intelligence. They keep spawning and spawning like there was some hidden portal open in the hood and everyone from World of Warcraft turned into homies and started hunting Fiddy. When you'll feel lost and won't know your tasks, check out the menu or get the tips with the aid of a phone call. If the phone rings, answer it by pressing the Start button and that will usually inform you on what's happening or what's the next objective.
Video This is the only aspect where the game shines, well... "shines" is a strong word considering we're taking on the streets of New York. All the actions happens in the hood and you'll see lots of gray, dark blue and other colors that can help you get the perfect picture of the urban jungle. Broken neon, a rusty pawn shop, an abandoned movie hall, prostitutes behind the blocks, dark sewers, a junkyard...all of those create Fiddy's universe and they're pretty well done. Since 50 Cent is the main character, he has been attentively designed and the care for every inch of his body is noticeable. All 9 exit wounds are there and Mister Fiddy packs a lot of steam, being a fan of bling and big guns.
He'll wear trainers, a big platinum cross and a big machine gun on his back at all time. The other characters are well designed as well and I recognized Grizz from the first second, because he resembles his real counterpart, Dr. Dre. All the gestures may seem exaggerated, but that's the lifestyle of these men, exaggeration, capital E. Are you looking at me? Bang! That's the sort of gestures you should expect from the home boys in the G Unit. Peace!
Sound It seems that all the songs that Fiddy ever created are included in Bulletproof and yes, there's a lot of content to unlock. The die-hard fans will be pleased to see all the favorite videos, the making of "Get Rich or Die Trying", some interviews and many music videos. Also, you'll hear many licensed songs while playing the missions, but you won't actually listen to the whole song, but rather loops of the same 20 seconds from the intro, over and over again. That's a reason to push the "mute" button while shooting the cops.
Firing weapons and the taunts of the G Unit boys sound so superficial that any other sound besides the soundtrack is not worth mentioning. I'm no 50 Cent fan so those songs and albums didn't impress me one bit, but I guess that there are "boyz" out there that will buy this game to hear all the unreleased tracks and rare G Unit material that they missed so far. The voice acting is pretty decent, although the lines are mostly offensive and the classical bla-bla-bragging you hear in gangsta' movies is present.
Multiplayer This is a single-player game and thank God (or Fiddy) that they didn't implement an online mode, because it would have been hell to play this in multiplayer with the poor aiming system. The only possible winner would have been a guy that missed the least shots.
Conclusion With the risk of getting popped full of lead I must say that 50 Cent: Bulletproof is a bad game, a boring one, with aiming problems, a horrible storyline and characters that are filled with clich?s. If you're a Fiddy fan, you should buy an album or a DVD, maybe some clothes with the G Unit logo on them, but not this game. It would really ruin your day as it did to me. I'd rather be shot nine times like Mister "Half-a-dollar" than play this game on a regular basis.
