14 DAY TRIAL // 
How many games where you were the almighty super hero have you played? How many times have you saved the world already? Didn't you get tired? Wouldn't you like to try something new? I know this sounds like a lousy ad, but it's not (at least, it's not an ad) - it's just reality. It's the first thing that crosses your mind when you first play Kane and Lynch: Dead Men. When you realize that you're not a super hero, you're not going to save the world and you won't end up with a female which has thousands of pixels in her boobs. You realize from the beginning that it'll be another story, another experience, something that should've happened a long time ago but it never did. And the only thing you'll be able to say after you're done playing will be: WOW!
Now, if you think that one game should be ignored or underrated just because of some events that are not directly related to the game itself and you think game reviewers should just trash the game because of that and stop being impartial, then this is not the review you are looking for. This review judges the game itself.
The Story
In Kane and Lynch you're definitely not the Super Hero and you have no intentions of saving the world. In fact, you don't even care about your life anymore - your only regret is that you'll never get to see your daughter. You are a retired mercenary, an old, cruel, trash-talking bastard who's going to be executed for his crimes. A backstabber who got arrested after his last job turned into a disaster - you ran foutunately and left your team to burn in hell. You're Kane.
And you're in a prison bus when it crashes, marking the beginning of your adventure. You're saved by a long haired guy with some sadistic looks hidden behind a pair of big, ugly glasses. A guy that will become your shadow, the twisted friend you never wanted, another crazy bastard just like yourself. He's Lynch. And he shoots a gun worse than your grandma.
Now you both have another thing in common, except the fact that you're two crazy dudes that have no feelings and swear too much: that thing is called The Seven. It's the mercenary organization that you betrayed and now wants to see you dead as soon as they get their money back. The same who hired Lynch to be your shadow and promised him your spot in the organization after the job is done. Why would you accept such a thing? To keep your family alive, of course. You have three weeks.
In three weeks you will visit various locations, such as crowded night clubs, virgin jungles or even the place you just managed to escape from - the prison. You'll leave behind a lot of dead bodies, dead friends, dead traitors and, together with that, rivers of blood. You'll hate Lynch more than you hate your life. You'll curse him, your enemies, your friends, yourself and, if there's nothing else to do - you'll curse again. That's what being a mercenary means, except killing people.
Gameplay
If you ever played a third person shooter before or if you ever played a video game before, you already know the controls. However, the game starts with a brief and quite innovative tutorial, I might add - it's not you, Kane, the one who "learns" the controls but, instead, you are told what to do in order to "teach" Lynch how to play. A very nice way to put it, isn't it? And don't worry, it's not the only thing KaL will surprise you with.
First of all, the atmosphere is quite immersive. You will play in many different areas, each being completely different from the other, so you'll never get bored by the same surroundings repeated over and over again. But this is not the same when it comes to characters. Except from the main ones (duhh!) you won't get too much variety - for example, the nightclub leaves you with the impression that all the Asian chicks are bald and wear blue dresses. The same thing happens with the enemies. But, at least, they're really well done.
Second, you'll have a lot of shooting to do. And when I say a lot, I really mean it - in the end, you'll get the feeling that you killed the exact same amount of people that fought in World War II. Basically, you will be able to shoot any living being and if you fail to kill somebody, don't worry - the crazy Lynch will gladly finish the job (but don't expect him to hit to many moving targets, though, he's just a bad shooter).
Even though controls are pretty easy to use, they can prove to be a little hard to master, especially when it comes to taking cover. You don't have a button for that and that's good since it allows you to concentrate on the targets, but it doesn't work quite well all the times - you either have to move around a bit until Kane gets into the right position to take cover or, when you're taking cover, you might find yourself facing the wrong direction. You can also shoot from cover in two different ways. The "safe" one (aka blind fire) is not at all accurate, but you won't get hit, while the "risky" mode allows you to lock the target and shoot very precisely, but that might get you filled with bullets, too. However, you will soon realize that the risky one is the best choice since the aiming cursor is very small and it tends to disappear when areas get too crowded (and that happens a lot).
But don't worry about getting shot to often. You won't have to search for med kits or stuff like that. You don't even have a health bar! This doesn't mean you're an invincible monster, it means things are different from the way we know them. And that's good. For instance, when you start taking too many bullets, the screen starts turning red. If you fail to take cover and wait a few seconds, you will die. But that's not the end, either, because your teammates can use adrenaline shots to get you up and running. You can do the same thing to them, too, and you should know that too many adrenaline shots can definitively kill you. Still, it's a very nice implementation.
Also, the game comes with a little bit of tactical options. Throughout the story, Kane will have at least one person in his team, and he can issue simple commands, like follow, take cover or attack a specific target. However, you don't really have to use these options unless you really want to - your teammates can handle themselves pretty well and will stay out of your way most of the time (even though there will be some times when your allies will just run in front of you while you're shooting... but you always have adrenaline!)
One thing you'll notice straight from the beginning, apart from the fact that all the rooms get covered with blood pretty fast, is the language the characters use. If their mothers would hear them talk, they'd certainly beat the sh*t out of them! But it's OK, the game's M rated and M's use that language sometimes, too. Another thing worth noticing is this unique duo - two people who seem to hate each other more than they hate their enemies, but still an adorable team. And they're really not as cruel as they seem to be at first.
Graphics
The game looks pretty nice, overall. The graphics aren't breath taking but everything is well done. The designers paid attention to details (check out Kane's tattoo on the left wrist or his very natural bald spot) and the graphics look pretty realistic. Probably the best place to notice that is the night club where the darkness is shattered by disco lights and guards are looking for you with lanterns in their hands. And, since there's a "best thing", there must be a "worst". In Kane and Lynch, the worst comes from the explosions caused by rockets or grenades, which look pretty unnatural and... uhm... bad.
Sound
You can't have a great game without a great soundtrack and some mind melting voice acting and Kane and Lynch seems to know that. From the cut scenes to the game action, every sound is exactly as it should be. The voice acting is absolutely great and the music really manages to complete the feel of the game. It makes you cry at the beginning when Kane talks about the letter for his daughter, it makes you laugh when Lynch goes all crazy and it makes you feel the tension when you're being chased by hordes of enemies. You simply can't ask for more from this part of the game, except, maybe, some better grenade and rocket sounds.
Multiplayer
Personally, I think that's the weakest link of the game even though you have co-op mode and online play. Co-op mode, though, can only played offline, on the same computer, in a split screen version. It's fun to see Lynch lose his mind from time to time and start shooting random people, but the range of view gets really narrow and you'll find it hard sometimes to find your targets. But it's something you'll get used to after a few hours.
The online mode is again interesting, but not exactly pleasant for me. Fragile Alliance - that's the name - allows a team to rob a bank and get a loot as big as possible. The twist comes with the option that every player has to become a traitor (after all, backstabbing is what the game's about), kill his teammates and try to run with the money. Even though some might find it amusing, it's not when you realize that every person over the internet is a traitor.
Conclusion
The only regret I had after I finished the game was that it didn't last longer. Overall, it was a big "Wow!" from my side. Unfortunately you won't replay this game once you've finished it since the action is pretty linear and you'll basically do the exact same things. There are only two endings and you practically decide them in the last scene of the game, so you can see both if you restart the last chapter. But, to be honest, I expected more from the endings.
Overall, this is a great game. It has a few flaws but nothing that bad to make it unplayable. It has a great storyline and a team like no other. You'll end up loving Kane and Lynch - both the characters and the game. A great experience!
Next is a little spoiler (harmless, though, so I'll say it) that got me thinking a little. Kane's daughter is a rebel teenager who talks at least as dirty as her father. However, I can't understand one thing: how come she's wearing just a long shirt in a camp filled with male mercenaries, miles away from any kind of woman? Could it be just the little "extra thing" the developers wanted to offer the players or there are some solid reasons I can't understand behind that? I mean, come on! Everybody can see her white panties, for God's sake!
